Denzel Washington once said in the movie American Gangster "the loudest one in the room, is the weakest one in the room". Why did I pick this quote? I think that in many situations people who really don't understand how to lead others exhibit this behavior. They try to overpower, intimidate, speak in jargon or speak in technical terms in order to get what they want. In reality they use these tactics because they don't really understand to lead or influence so they become "the loudest one in the room" because they really have weak leadership skills.
They have learned through previous behavior how to bulldoze people and get their way. This works because they understand the social norm is to avoid conflict and people will allow the behavior to continue because they don't want conflict. Sometimes you get compliance, most of the time all you get are people rolling their eyes. It is a downward spiral that usually ends in distrust, missed deadlines and stress for everyone involved.
What is more difficult is getting "loud" people to understand their weakness. They typically wallow in denial or argue this is "how you get things done". When I hear these excuses I am reminded of some of the points Marshall Goldsmith's book What Got You Here Won't Get You There. If I only had a copy to hand to these people when I encounter them. These people claim to embrace feedback, but normally don't take feedback well. They agree and shake their head when they receive feedback or they turn it around on those giving them the feedback. Remember feedback is a gift, embrace it and recognize everyone else perceives your loudness as weakness.
They have learned through previous behavior how to bulldoze people and get their way. This works because they understand the social norm is to avoid conflict and people will allow the behavior to continue because they don't want conflict. Sometimes you get compliance, most of the time all you get are people rolling their eyes. It is a downward spiral that usually ends in distrust, missed deadlines and stress for everyone involved.
What is more difficult is getting "loud" people to understand their weakness. They typically wallow in denial or argue this is "how you get things done". When I hear these excuses I am reminded of some of the points Marshall Goldsmith's book What Got You Here Won't Get You There. If I only had a copy to hand to these people when I encounter them. These people claim to embrace feedback, but normally don't take feedback well. They agree and shake their head when they receive feedback or they turn it around on those giving them the feedback. Remember feedback is a gift, embrace it and recognize everyone else perceives your loudness as weakness.
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